now i know, i'm not ready for serious relationship

what happen?

suddenly i feel so bad..........................
still worry about him............................

during hari raya holiday, we went things good.......................as usual , he is my best soul mate...........
but , i can't feel more than that anymore.................................

i lost it.................................

no more love story, just friendship..............................


things just so strange.....................

while u are single, u wish u can start a relationship, however , when the chance is here, i really unable to ready for this ......................................

i prefer single now..........................

ok ok, don't get me wrong....................
i really still single ............................
we haven't start anything yet........................
we are just soul mate..............................

my friends told me not to worry, just remains our friendship..........................


so, i still in between.......in Chinese we called 暧昧........................

should i stay, or should i go?

ok ok .....i keep telling my self, we are just soul mates(知己)......................

what if love can't take it over?

dame! i hate myself!
i hate myself for loving him!
what's going on?
i wonder.........................
suddenly, everything changed.......

i met a few guys, other guys.....................
then, the comparisons start....
yeah, he is a very good guy, he cares about me, he got a stable job.........
but what? why?
suddenly, i afraid............................
i afraid he loves me, i afraid he confess with me he loves me...............................
i like him, i love him, but only as soulmate..........................

maybe for what?
i don't know...............................

suddenly, my parents not allow me to go out with him.....................................
they want me to stay away from him.........................
why??
ok. i admit that..................he is not that rich.............................

my mum asked me to find a rich guy.......................................
but for me, true love is not about the money................................
so, i still love him................................


but , nowadays, i really worry about his health....................
he is not a real healthy guy.....................
so i really worry..............................
what's going on?
my love for him is fading...........................

i just not ready, i'm not really to fall in love and start any relationship....

ok, lucky he still didn't make any move.........................
i really scare to hurt him.......................................
i afraid if we start something, i'll hurt him if i dump him....................................

so, ya, we just friend.........................only soul mates..............................
i have to keep this friendship................................